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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027518">Go home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/pseuds/aishiterumo'>aishiterumo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My personal Hematite [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Car Accidents, Gen, Intrusive Thoughts, Light Angst, Temporary Character Death, Violent Thoughts, driving anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:07:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/pseuds/aishiterumo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minho's father takes the plane. Which means Minho has to drive himself home. Minho stopped driving ages ago, he doesn't remember why. Until he drives again, and wishes he never did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My personal Hematite [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Go home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I do not have my driver license, so it might be inaccurate. I simply depicted my biggest fear and one of the reason I refuse to drive.</p><p>A/N: this work is part of a series 'My personal Hematite' which contains therapeutic works i wrote during some of my dark moments (panic attacks, depression episode, dissociation episode etc). i wrote these to help myself, they may not make any sense and are not related in any way. read with care, and be mindful of your comments. Thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His father was the one to drive on the way to the airport. He parked the car and Minho helped him with his luggage before going all the way back to the car. He had waved his father goodbye and was ready to leave and go back home. He hadn’t driven in months, if not years. He bit his bottom lip as he sat behind the wheel.</p><p>He started the ignition, shaking just a bit. Getting out of the airport wasn’t hard. Driving on the road wasn’t hard. <em>Just go faster</em>, the voice in his head whisper, right against his ear. He ignored it, driving at the speed limit. He had a bit more than an hour to drive before getting home.</p><p>Minho turned in direction of the highway, speeding just enough to match the other cars. He turned the radio’s volume up, just enough to ignore the voice in his head. <em>Slow down</em>. He accelerated a bit, there wasn’t many people on that road. It was still early, not even noon. It was a weekday; people were either at work or at home.</p><p><em>Slow down, Minho</em>. He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, hands a bit tighter on the wheel. He looked on the left, then on the right, before staring right in front of him. The road was getting a bit busier as he drove closer to his home. <em>Just cut in front of them</em>. He braked just enough not to crash onto the car in front of him. <em>Don’t stop, just keep going</em>. He looked behind him, seeing that no car was on the lane next to him, he put his blinker and changed lanes. He accelerated just enough to pass the car that was previously in front of him and then moved back in the lane. <em>Slow down, let them crash into you</em>. He kept his speed.</p><p>Minho stared at the road, focusing on the song that was playing at the radio. He didn’t know the artist, but it was far more interesting than the voice in his head. <em>Faster</em>. <em>Go faster, Minho</em>. He kept his pace, changing lanes once again to pass another car. <em>Why don’t you crash onto them, Minho? Don’t you think it’d be fun? </em>He let out a heavy sigh, blinking as slowly as he could as he tried to stay focus on the road. <em>Turn the wheel. Go crash on that wall</em>.</p><p>Suddenly, the road became way busier. A car cut right in front of him. <em>Go faster. Just crash onto the car</em>. He slowed down a bit, letting the car cut in. He then moved to the other lane, not wanting to stay behind them. <em>You’re no fun, Minho.</em> He bit his lips harder, accelerating just a bit. He still had more than thirty minutes to drive. His head was throbbing with pain.</p><p><em>Stop the car</em>. He kept going. <em>Why don’t you stop the car?</em> He passed a car, changing lanes just to go back to the previous one a bit further away. <em>It’d be so much fun if you’d stop the car in the middle of the highway</em>. He looked at the signs on his right, biting onto his lips harder again. He felt a bit of blood in his mouth. <em>Everyone would crash onto your car, it’d make such a big accident, Minho. Wouldn’t it be fun? </em>He slowly changed lanes to go to the rest area, driving slowly as he looked for a spot to park his car.</p><p>As soon as he parked the car and stopped the car, he put his head against the wheel, closing his eyes. Tears were building in his eyes. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t ever going to make it home. <em>Why don’t you go walk on the highway, Minho? </em>He choked on a sob. <em>Don’t you wanna go home, Minho?</em> Another sob.</p><p>He was driving back on the highway, right at the speed limit. <em>Faster</em>. He accelerated a bit. <em>Faster, Minho</em>. He kept his feet on the accelerator. <em>Faster. Faster. Way faster!</em> He was now past the speed limit, way past it. A car honked at him, he ignored it. His eyes were focused on the road in front of him as he kept on speeding up, changing lanes effortlessly to avoid the other cars. <em>Stop avoiding, Minho</em>. He stayed on his lane, still speeding up. The car in front of him sped up too, not enough. <em>Stop the car</em>. He let his foot of the accelerator; the car slowed down. He slammed on the brakes. The car stopped right in the middle of the highway. The car behind him hit onto the back of his car. It pushed him forward. He crashed onto the car in front of him, pushing him on the side. The other side of the highway. His head hit the wheel, blood slowly flowing down his face. <em>Too bad, your face</em>. He felt his chest tightening as another car hit the side of his own. And then another. And another one. And soon enough it had a small pile of cars next to his, all of them colliding with each other. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily. <em>Why did you stop, Minho?</em></p><p>He suddenly got up, gasping as he opened his eyes. He stared at the shop in front of him, looking sideways to see the parking lot from the rest area. He looked at his hands, his legs, his car. He had fallen asleep. Trying to calm his breathing, he started the car again. <em>You’re finally going home? </em>He went back on the highway, driving a tiny bit slower than the speed limit. Every time a car was passing next to him, he could feel his breathing accelerating. He stayed focus.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, he got out of the highway, back on the city roads. <em>Look, a red light. What if you kept going?</em> He stopped the car, waiting for the light to turn green before driving again. <em>Look, pedestrians. Hit them!</em> He stopped the car before the crossroad, letting them walk.</p><p>He parked the car in front of his house, removing the keys and getting out of it. Finally, he felt like he could breathe. <em>You’re really no fun, Minho</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>find more work on my <a href="https://twitter.com/softflowermin">twitter</a> :]<br/>you can also ask question related to my works on my <a href="https://curiouscat.me/softflowermin">curiouscat</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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